Don't let me go
by ReginasThief
Summary: "[...] But please, 'Gina…" he put his tiny hand on her cheek, wiping away a tear. "don't cry anymore. Beautiful queens don't cry in the stories that papa reads me." She smiled at him, but this time it was a sad smile. It all felt so natural with that kid: "but Evil Queens do."
1. Chapter 1

this came to me at 4 am in the morning. sorry guys.

placed after the finale. I know It's short, it was just a first thought. tell me if you want me to continue :)  
ps: _**HAVE FAITH.**_

Her heart was pounding in her chest, her eyes completely filled with tears that she tried so hard to not let fall. She couldn't believe it was happening.  
She had lost everything._Again_.  
For the second time she was there, watching someone taking away the love from her life. What was going to happen now? Of course Robin was gonna come back to his wife, to the mother of his child. Of course he wasn't going to choose her, someone who was nothing more than a woman he had just met.  
She felt harder and harder to hold back the tears, she had to let it go. She walked silently to the exit, alone. _As always. Again._  
«'Gina!» a little voice exclaimed, popping out from her mother's hug. The baby boy ran straight to the door, following Regina.  
«Roland!» Robin shouted «stay here, Marian, I'm going to get him.» he quickly told his wife before running behind him. He realized it was too late when he saw his son watching the queen in tears, right in front of the restaurant. He looked down: seeing her sad was truly the last thing he wanted. It was his fault if she was like that, but who could blame him? His wife came back from nowhere and he couldn't do anything but jump in her arms like a lost boy. He hadn't think about the consequences? Of course. But now it was too late, he had to fix that woman's broken heart.  
«you don't have to cry, 'Gina! I'll tell my papa to kiss you too like he kisses my mama. I promise.» he looked so innocent, his big brown eyes shining to the light of the moon and Regina couldn't help but smile at him:  
«oh, Roland…» she just hugged him as tight as she could. She didn't know why, but she felt the need to do that.  
«Roland…» Robin's voice calling his name interrupted everything and the smile that had formed on her lips dropped immediately.  
«Papa! 'Gina is sad.»  
Regina looked down. That was enough, she didn't even want to see him anymore, his presence was able to create a large hole in her heart that was hurting like hell.  
«why don't you go in and stay with your mother a little? I'm sure you'd missed her.» he tried to smile to his son and messed his hair playfully, making him giggle.  
«I did! I'll go to her. But please, 'Gina…» he put his tiny hand on her cheek, wiping away a tear. «don't cry anymore. Beautiful queens don't cry in the stories that papa reads me.»  
She smiled at him, but this time it was a sad smile. It all felt so natural with that kid:  
«but _Evil_ Queens do.» her voice was incredibly bitter. Robin felt a grip around his heart, like someone had just begun to crush it.  
«Roland, now go.» he needed to talk to her alone. The boy nodded and ran into the restaurant, leaving them finally alone outside.  
«Regina…»  
«no! Robin, it's okay. Go to her. She's your… Your wife, your happy ending. Something that's not in the cards for me.» she looked down, trying so hard to not cry harder, if that was possible.  
«I'm sorry. I wish I knew she was still alive so I wouldn't give you a false hope.» it was the only thing he could say while he was getting closer and closer to her. He took her beautiful face in his warm hands: «look at me, Regina.» he begged, finally locking his eyes in hers «I'm sorry it has to be like this.» he could read nothing but sadness and desperation in her eyes. When his flew from them to her lips he felt his heart beating faster. He wanted to kiss her, kiss her like there was no tomorrow, cause it's probably going to be like that. He slowly put his lips on hers, carefully, like they were made of crystal. It was quite a quick kiss, but then, when they looked into each other's eyes as they pulled away, it became nothing but hungry, passionate, rough. He had never kissed a woman like that and it felt amazing. He pushed her against the pole as she wrapped her arms around his neck. God, it felt amazing to be back home, but they had to stop. They knew they had to stop, it was getting out of their hands, it was becoming crazy, the passion that they were sharing, the need of feeling each other. It all felt so wrong… _She was the other woman now._  
Regina pulled away, looking deeply into his ocean blue eyes:  
«it felt like a goodbye kiss.»  
He caressed her beautiful face, making sure his thumb had passed on every inch of her perfect skin:  
«it was.»  
She removed his arms from his neck and took a step back again. She was feeling incredibly sick, like something was burning her inside, making her want to destroy everything on her way.  
«Then… Goodbye.» she shrugged and forced a smile before turning her back to him and walk away silently.  
That hole in her heart was growing bigger and bigger at every step she was taking away from him.  
She had finally opened up to someone and she had lost him.  
How idiotic she had been, she just shouldn't let him see the woman behind the fireballs, behind the evil mask. But he'd been able to tear apart every wall she had built around her own self.  
_And she let him do that._  
Cause she _trusted_ him.  
Cause she _loved_ him.  
_And he__ will __never know._


	2. Chapter 2

She closed the door behind her back and she slowly slid down till she reached the floor, crying silently till her eyes became red.  
She couldn't get through this again. _She just couldn't._  
«I love you, Robin… _I love you_!» she kept on repeating to the emptiness of the house, sighing his name every second, like she was hoping he would come to wake her up from that nightmare. God, she just wanted him to know that she loved him. That she loved him with all her dark heart, that he'd been the first one to see beauty inside and out of her. Maybe it would be worthless but she just needed him to know all of that.  
She walked towards the couch, in front of the fireplace, with the intent of taking the bottle of wine but then her eyes fell on the two empty glasses and she remembered how happy she was just two hours before. With her second chance, kissing, cuddling, drinking wine and smiling happily. That was what she'd always wanted for her, nothing else. She didn't care about richness, about being queen. She'd rather be poor and happy than rich and alone.  
She sat on the couch and hugged a pillow tight, suffocating her sighs in it. Damn, it smelled of him. That couch, where they made love just hours before, smelled of him. Of_them_. She could still feel his lips all over her and that was making her feel so damn worse.  
_I just didn't think I could have this._  
And in fact, she couldn't.  
She took the bottle and finished all the wine in one single sip. She had to forget him, what they've had, the feelings she had for him. He was just a memory now, just like the rest of her happiness.  
«I love you, Robin.» she whispered to the air once again, before falling asleep heavily, calmed by the strength of the tears and the alcohol.

The day after she was woken up by the bell ringing. She had a horrible headache, she just wanted that terrible sound to stop. She waved her hand and the door opened, revealing a worried blond girl.  
«Regina! Are you alright?» she immediately ran to her «you look horrible, what did you do?»  
The queen rubbed her eyes:  
«nothing, you idiot.»  
«it's two in the afternoon, Regina. Everyone is worried about you, I thought… I thought you could do something tragic.»  
She took her head in his hands, trying to calm down the million thoughts running inside of it. Emma saw the empty bottle on the corner of the table and looked at her in shock:  
«you… Got drunk?»  
Regina blushed lightly. Of course she was ashamed of that, she wasn't used to react this way. She was a royal after all. She looked right to the blond and saw nothing but surprise on her face.  
«what were you expecting me to do?»  
«I don't know, maybe just rip out my heart and crush it in front of me.» Emma looked down.  
«I'm not that person anymore.» she stood up and felt her heart spinning. God, that drinking thing was an awful sensation.  
«wait, I'll help you.» Emma exclaimed, immediately putting an arm around her waist to keep her from falling.  
«I don't need your help.» Regina tried to pulled away but she could barely stand on her feet, she wasn't strong enough to push someone else away.  
«I guess you do.» she tried to smile but the brunette immediately looked away. She couldn't look at Emma, she just wasn't ready yet. A part of her wanted to shout at her, maybe to hurt her the same way she did, but the good part of her, the most fragile one, the one that she was trying to protect with all her strength was telling her to act normally. She didn't anything wrong, she just saved a woman's life.  
«look, Regina, I'm sorry. I really, really am.» Emma murmured  
«it's not your fault. It's mine. I shouldn't believe in something so beautiful for someone like me…»  
Emma felt her heart breaking in two pieces. She truly felt guilty cause she knew how hard it's been for her to let go and open up to someone. And once she did it and was finally happy… She took it away from her.  
«you should talk to Robin. He was looking for you this morning.»  
«he was?» she immediately looked at her, a spark of hope shining in her dark eyes.  
«yes. He looked… Pretty _eager_ to see you.»

It was right, he was eager to see her. The night before he went home -well, to the camp- with his family. He should have been happy, and he was. But when Marian wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him in a kiss that was becoming more and more passionate… He didn't know, it just felt so wrong. She was his wife, the love of his life, his happy ending, the mother of his child. But it felt wrong kissing her, making love to her in his tent when Roland was asleep. He gave all himself to satisfy her but when he came, in the silence of the room, he didn't whisper Marian's name but Regina's.  
When he opened his eyes and found Marian sleeping next to him he felt nothing but emptiness in his heart. He was happy to have Marian, god only knew how happy he was, but it had been thirty years, he had let her go, he had opened up to someone else, he… He fell in love with another woman. A beautiful woman that was the one he wanted to see sleeping next to him.  
God, he had to tell those things to Regina. She had to know, especially now that her heart was broken because of him. Maybe they would figure out a solution, maybe the right thing to do was talking to Marian and tell her that the only love he felt for her was simple but still strong affection.  
«what are you thinking of?» the woman asked with a smile, putting a hand on his while the other one was keeping a cup of tea next to her mouth.  
«Nothing.» he smiled back «it's just that this is unbelievable»  
They both giggled. The sound of the bell above the door, the sign that someone had just came in to the restaurant, brought Robin alive. Maybe it was Regina, he had to talk to her. He _had_ to.  
But unfortunately it was just Emma.  
«any news?» he immediately asked worried.  
Emma looked down:  
«I've found her. She… She was in a horrible situation, she drank all night long and fell asleep on the couch.»  
Robin felt his heart shuttering in a thousand pieces. Damn, it was all his fault, he had to fix this mess. He hadn't been fair with her.  
«where is she now?»  
«a-at home, I guess. That's where I left her.»  
«thank you.» he whispered quickly before running to his wife:  
«Marian, I gotta go. I'll be back in a few.»  
She couldn't even realize what was going on, he had already left the diner, running.

What the hell was going on? Why was he so worried for the queen?  
Robin didn't tell her about their relationship. He just thought she had suffered enough to give her extra pain.

So Marian didn't know anything, the only thing she knew was that his husband was using every excuse to run _to the queen_.

**I would appreciate a review if you want to let me know what you think **** thanks for reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

**guys, I want to apologize if I write short chapters like this one but I like the idea of posting almost everyday rather than posting once in a week or two and make you forget about what happened in the previous chapters in the meantime... maybe it's just my silly impression but I hope you can understand! thank you all for the reviews by the way & thank you even just for reading! I hope you enjoy this little one.**

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Robin knocked to the door several times but no one opened.  
«damn, Regina, open this door!» he murmured to the air keeping on trying. He wasn't going to leave without checking if she was okay. He owed that to her, but most of all, he _wanted_ to do that.  
«Emma, I've already told you that…» the words stuck in Regina's mouth, never spoken, as she saw the only person she wanted to see in that moment.  
«w-what are you doing here?» as she spoke, he smelled alcohol in her breathe.  
«damn, you drank again?»  
«just a glass. And you shouldn't be here.» she tried to close the door in front of him but he blocked her by taking her arm and squeezing it:  
«wait!» he dropped his look and his eyes casually fell on what she was holding in her right hand; a bottle of wine. Half empty.  
«god, how much did you really drink?» he literally pushed himself in her house.  
«okay, thief, I know it's basically your job but get the fuck out of my house if you don't want me to use my magic.»  
«Regina, how much have you drunk?» he shouted, squeezing her arm tighter. She looked straight into his blue eyes and her legs started to shake._ My god, those eyes_.  
«a bottle.» she gave him a bitter smile and shook the bottle he had in her hand in front of his eyes «and half!»  
«Emma only left an hour ago!»  
«I guess I can drink faster than you.» she laughed even if, not much deep inside, the only thing she wanted was to cry and hold him close.  
«so is that your solution? Starting to drink?»  
«I've heard that normal people react this way to a break up. I'm not… Used to this. I would normally just go out and cause some pain to someone but…» she looked right into his eyes, finding all the strength in her body to say those words: «I've worked too hard to fuck up everything for you.» she tried to take another sip but he took the bottle away from her.  
«go away!» Regina shouted, tired of being treated like a baby  
«not until you don't stop with that. Regina, look at you. You're drunk, you look horrible…»  
«and you're a bastard.»  
Robin couldn't help but giggle; she looked exactly like a baby.  
«I didn't mean to insult you.» he finally smiled. Maybe if he would react differently he would have get the same reaction from her. «yep, actually I meant to insult you but just to show you how you're treating yourself.» he tried to get closer, putting a hand on her cheek, rubbing his thumb where the rests of her makeup were. She closed her eyes and enjoyed every second of that touch, like it was the only thing that was left to her.  
«_I love you_.» she whispered, eyes still closed. She didn't even know why she had let it go right then, or if she was the alcohol talking… She just needed him to know what she was feeling and that may have been her last chance to tell it.  
«Regina…» he pulled away and she widened her brown eyes:  
«no, Robin, please. Let me talk to you, let me tell you what I feel, please. I would feel so much better then, just…» and he interrupted her. Again. This time his mouth was on hers and she couldn't do anything to stop that. She _wouldn't_have stopped that for anything in the world. She buried her fingers in his hair, her tongue in his mouth and her body wrapped around his in less than a second. He lifted her up and put her down on the table, never stopping the kiss. His hands ran all over her body, under the dirty clothes that she hadn't changed for two days. It felt so good to be home.  
His hands on her skin, completely burning it, were driving her crazy, she had dreamed about that touch all the time since he went away.  
«get away from me, thief. I may be the slut who you betray your wife with, but I won't let you fuck me quickly on this table.» she panted. He wanted to pull away so they could reach her bedroom but he just couldn't. He couldn't leave her._Not again_.  
Regina smiled and snapped her fingers, letting a wave of purple smoke surrounding and transporting them on her bed. He took control of the situation, undressing her quickly, eagerly.  
«God, Regina, I love you. I love you so much.» Robin whispered as he got inside of her, filling her completely, making her arch her back in pure pleasure. Her fingers between his blonde hair, pulling his face to her to kiss him hard, she wanted him to feel her love while his was filling her.  
«Robin» she moaned before he could push his tongue in her mouth again, passionately, then slid it out again, passing it down her neck, while he was pushing hard inside her beautiful body.  
She felt him.  
He felt her.  
«_I'm here_.» he breathed.  
They were where they belonged.

«you have no idea how much I've missed you.» she whispered before kissing him again, quickly.  
«actually I think I do. You haven't left me since we got on this bed.» he giggled. «not that I'm complaining.»  
Regina laughed too then blushed;  
«you won't leave me again, will you?»  
Robin's smile immediately dropped from his face at the memory of Marian. He had left her at Granny's for an hour by then, he had to go. She surely was worried…  
«I… I have to, Regina.»  
«so what was that? A quickie? It meant nothing, did it?»  
«no, Regina, it means a lot. I wanted you, I want you now. There is a reason if I feel drawn to you.» he lifted his arm and their eyes fell on his tattoo: «you're my soulmate, Regina. My true love. I wanna be with you, trust me, I do. It's just that I can't leave Marian like that. She is… My wife. I loved her with every inch of my being but… God, It's been thirty years… I let her go. I let go my love for her. And now… Now she's back… I guess she will be just like a sister now if that makes any sense. I'm drawn to you, Regina. I'm in love with you, now. As much as I wish I didn't… _I can't help it._» he finally let go those words, he finally opened his heart to her.  
«I love you too.» a tear managed to escape from her control and rolled down her cheek, quickly caught by Robin's thumb «I'm sorry, I should have told you that before, but I just didn't feel ready. Now I am. Now I know what I feel. I love you, so very much.» she smiled widely and kissed him again. Once, twice, quickly, hard. Their kisses were like oxygen for them. Their heartbeats were united in just a single one while they made love again.  
It was true, you never know what you got till it's gone. But maybe fate was giving her a second -_or a third_- chance.


	4. Chapter 4

**thank you all for reading and following this story! I truly appreciate your support :)**

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Robin sneaked out of her bed and got dressed as fast as he could. The smile Regina had been able to paint on his lips couldn't leave his face, and he was glad. He was _happy_.  
«Marian!» he exclaimed surprised to find his wife still outside the diner.  
«I've been waiting for you for two hours! Where the hell have you been?»  
Robin looked down:  
«Regina is sick. I took care of her.»  
«The Evil Queen! Why?» she looked confused «why are you so obsessed with her?» she had the right to know at least what happened to Regina, Robin knew it far too well.  
«She's not evil. Not anymore, trust me, she's changed a lot. She saved Roland, back in our land… I owed her a favour so I took care of her now that she's sick. It's… Quite a bad thing this time.» he couldn't even look at his wife but she seemed to understand:  
«she did really save my boy?»  
«of course! She's a mother now, an amazing mother in fact, she's…» he was talking quickly, way too much she'd said. He was pointing all the good in her, describing her like an angel and Marian had to interrupt him:  
«Robin… You… You're talking like… You like her.»  
He felt his heart lose a beat at her words so he shut his mouth. _Damn_.  
«yeah! I mean of course I like her now, she became a some sort of… A friend.» he forced a smile and shrugged, quickly finding a way to change the subject. «where's Roland?» he wrapped an arm around Marian's waist, making her smile and forget the previous topic.  
«he's with Little John. I thought we didn't spend much time alone since I'm here. I've truly miss you so much.» she rested her head on his shoulder and took a long breath «why don't you show me this fantastic new land you like so much?»

He had spent all the afternoon, all the evening with his Marian. He finally had time to think about her, about the Marian that he remembered, about how different she was now from that woman. He remembered her laughing more often, he remembered her having more sense of humour… She was so different and he thought it was because while he grew up thirty years she didn't have that chance. He showed her what a cheeseburger was, how amazing iced tea could be, but she wasn't impressed yet. Of course, it was funny to see her dealing with everything that was new, just like he did almost a year before, but everytime he laughed about it, the imagine of Regina laughing at him when she explained what a phone, or a fridge was, or when they baked a cake and he was scared to put it in the big oven of Regina's… It all came to his mind and the smiled dropped from his face. God, it wasn't so hard to choose at last, his subconscious, his heart was telling him exactly what he felt. What he absolutely didn't know was what to do, how to behave. He couldn't get the best of both worlds, he had to make a choice and whatever it would've been it wasn't going to be easy.  
«you never thought about… Coming back?» Marian asked with a smile, resting his head on Robin's chest, interrupting his thoughts. They were lying next to each other, in their tent, with Roland sleeping by their side.  
Robin gave her a puzzled look: «I don't understand…»  
«in our land. In the enchanted forest. Start over.»  
He suddenly felt like someone had just punched him in the stomach. «I… I don't know if there is a way to come back… I honestly don't think so.»  
«but if we'll find one… Would you come back with me?» she looked right into his blue eyes. _Come on, just another lie, Robin. It will be easy, you're used to them now._  
«of course» he smiled «of course I would come back with you.» he knew that it wasn't possible to find a way to come back, so it was quite easy for him to lie. Marian smiled happily and literally wrapped her whole body around his:  
«god, I love you, Robin.»  
Damn, what was he supposed to do now? He felt horrible, he had told another woman that he loved her just hours before and now he was about to tell the same thing to his wife. God, which one was right? Which one was wrong? His heart was telling him that Regina was his happy ending, the woman he was in love too. But his brain, his memories, the part of him that only thought about what was best for Roland told him to stay with Marian.  
So he just said that, wether it was true or not, it was the right thing to say:  
«_I love you, too._»

He had sneaked out of his tent again, in the middle of the night, to ring a bell and see the woman he was in love with. God, he wanted her, that night he wanted her in a particular way.  
He didn't even say hello, he just looked into her eyes in a way that made every part of her body melt and pushed her against the wall, without even closing the door behind himself.  
«God, Robin» she almost squealed as she couldn't even catch her breathe because of his lips. He had pushed his tongue in her mouth and wanted to catch hers, to fight against hers in a god damn passionate kiss. «Robin, the bedroom» but he had already slid his hands under her pajama, touching her skin, burning it completely. He didn't say a word, Regina didn't know what he was feeling, why he was venting with her.  
She arched her back as his fingers reached her womanhood, and she was wet._Oh, so damn wet._ Even if she would have preferred to know his reasons first, right then she didn't care, she just wanted him to get inside of her as soon as possible.  
«damn, Regina. _I hate you_. I hate you so fucking much.» he growled on her neck, making a shiver burning her body. «I hate your perfect body.» he squeezed her ass in his hands, pushing her closer to his sex. Regina managed to wrap her legs around his waist so he could lift her up. His intention was to reach her bedroom but when he noticed the fire place, he remembered of their first time. He stood still in the middle of the room with a nostalgic look in his eyes that Regina couldn't help but notice. She smiled and kissed his neck, waving her hand to lit the fire, surprising Robin who smiled back at her. He put her on the floor, on the carpet. She immediately felt the warmness of the fire colouring her cheeks red, she moaned at the contact of his fingers with her skin. «I hate your voice, constantly in my head, calling my name when I try to think about something else.» he whispered before burying his head in her neck, mouth sucking, licking her skin, while hands were travelling down, working hard to take off her clothes. She giggled when he got stuck to the hook of the bra but she immediately stopped as he literally ripped it off.  
«and I hate your smile, god damn it, I hate the way I see it whenever I close my eyes.» Regina moaned as he felt him naked, pressing against her body. She wanted him, she wanted to _feel him_.  
«Robin please…» he shut her up with a deep kiss, he wanted to feel her soffocating her moans in in his mouth while he was pleasuring her. He was already between her legs when he knew she was ready to get him. Robin slowly penetrated her, giving her time to adjust to his length before starting to move as he whispered softly:  
«_damn, Regina Mills, I hate that I love you so much_.»

«I wanna talk to her.» he whispered after a while. As they both reached their peak they stayed like that, on the floor, naked, hugged tight on to each other, smiling and cuddling like teenagers in love.  
Regina widened her eyes:  
«what? And tell her what exactly?»  
Robin just smiled and kissed her quickly: «the truth, Regina. I'm tired of hiding, I don't like it. I just wanna walk around hand in hand with you, kiss you in front of everyone to show them you're only mine… I'm sure Marian will understand. I mean, I know it's gonna be hard but the woman I fell in love with forty years ago and I loved for ten years of my life would understand.»  
«yes but… I mean, I'm still the evil queen to her eyes…» she looked down and he cupped her face with his hands, smiling on her lips before kissing them.  
«then I'll explain her how much you've changed.»  
Regina couldn't help but blush shyly. She smiled back:  
«I don't understand. I mean… what… What do you see in me? Why are you ready to leave the love of your life for me?»  
«because maybe…» he took her hand and weaved it with his «maybe _you_ are the love of my life. "_First love_" doesn't always mean "_true love_". As we've seen…» he winked at his tattoo making her giggle «we're the proof of that.»  
Regina's eyes shined in happy tears as she cupped his face again and put a quick kiss on his soft lips. God, how much she loved those lips, the words that they pronounced, the sound they made when they spoke.  
«I love you so much.» she whispered. Robin's heart started to pound in his chest as he finally felt deep inside what was right, what he really felt: «god, I love you too.»  
«_stay with me_.» she asked shyly. «tonight. Stay with me.»  
«Regina, you know I can't.»  
«I know.» she looked down «I was just wondering how amazing could be waking up in your arms again instead of a cold, empty bed.»  
Robin's heart clenched and he felt the need of doing something to see that beautiful smile on her face again.  
«I'll talk to Marian tomorrow. I promise you that tonight will be the very last time that you sleep alone.» he smiled, kissing the tip of her nose, then his voice got lower: «Also because, when I'll come back to you, you won't even remember that bed is made for sleeping.»  
Regina felt a thrill running down her spine and closed her eyes shut. She needed all the strength in her to not moan.  
«o-oh… Really?» she blushed  
«yes. Really.» he kissed her, slowly sliding his tongue in her mouth, adding passion to the kiss. When he pulled away and found his own eyes completely buried in hers, he felt the need to go immediately. If he would have stayed a second more it wouldn't have been possible to leave anymore. That woman was… _God, so irresistible_.  
«here, take this.» he got up from the floor and handed her his jacket.  
«for what?» she laughed.  
«now you can wake up in warmness and my perfume. I know it's not going to be the same but…»  
«thank you.» she whispered, eyes shining. She wanted to get up and reach him but something told her to let him go. _It was time_ for him to go.  
«Just… Remember that I love you.» he breathed as he put on his scarf at last.  
«and remember that I love you too.»  
«it's gonna be my only reason.» he smiled and opened the door, promising himself that once he'd have come back, he'd have been there to stay.


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after everything seemed to be normal: Robin woke up with the biggest smile on his face that immediately faded away when his eyes met the barely opened ones of his wife. He remembered what happened the night before, the reason of his smile and the reason of its fading: that day he had to break a woman's heart. His wife's heart. He never thought he was able to do such a thing, when he used to think about his Marian, in the past thrity years, he always said to himself that he would have died to have her back. But now that he did… She wasn't enough. His heart was in the hands of another woman, the _right_ woman. The woman he was destined to be with. He looked down at his tattoo and the smile returned on his lips.  
«good morning.» Marian smiled putting a hand carefully on his cheek to rub it against his beard.  
«morning.» he felt his his heart becoming heavier and he didn't know why. Like it felt harder to beat normally. «is Roland asleep?» he asked.  
«yes. Why?» a nasty light passed through her eyes and Robin cleared his throat:  
«nothing. I just… Wanted to talk, you know.»  
Marian took a deep breathe:  
«Robin, what's going on? You don't laugh anymore, your smile seems forced,_your heart is somewhere else_… Tell me what's going on because you don't look happy.» she asked grabbing his hand and putting it down on her chest, where her heart was beating. «tell me, please. I deserve to know.»  
It was true, she deserved to know the truth. Robin knew that he needed all of his courage even just to start that conversation so he took a deep breathe and closed his eyes for several seconds:  
«you died. Before that Emma and Hook could change the past, you died in an accident thirty years ago, because of me. I spent my life dealing with that loss, trying to keep on living even when the guilt was devouring me. I saw the life in my son's eyes. He was my only reason. Slowly my heart closed every door and built a strong protection wall around it. I never thought I could love again, I just… I just had Roland and it was fine with me. I found some sort of happiness.» he paused, noticing a cute little smile on Marian's face «but then… I met a woman. Here in Storybrooke. Well… Not exactly in Storybrooke. We first met in the Enchanted Forest» he smiled at the thought of their rocky relationship back in their land «but here she was different from the woman she was there. And she… She teared those walls apart, she opened all the doors to my heart and I did the same with hers. I just… I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved you, Marian. But I did. I fell in love with her, we were together when Emma brought you back, she was… She was just knowing Roland, they seemed to like each other, everything was going perfectly»  
«are you saying… That I'm the other woman? That I ruined your happy life?» tears started to fall from Marian's dark eyes as his words shuttered her heart in a thousand pieces.  
«I'm saying that I don't wanna lie to you. Not anymore. _I love her_. I love her with every inch of my being, I think of her constantly… I can't help it, Marian. I'm sorry, I just… I can't believe this is happening…»  
She quickly sat and looked straight into his blue eyes, while hers were bleeding tears of pure pain. The strongest pain she had ever experienced in her whole life.  
«who is this woman, Robin?» she just wanted to know that, then she would have dealt with it and let him go. She just… She needed to know who she was.  
«She's…»  
«mama! Why are you crying?» a little scared voice interrupted everything. Marian immediately wiped away the tears as quickly as she could and hugged her son tight:  
«it's nothing baby. I just had a nightmare. Everything's fine.» she held him tight against her chest, breathing his perfume, thanking the gods for giving her at least someone by her side that still loved her as much as he did when she left.  
«when I have a nightmare papa reads me a story. maybe he can do the same to you.» he smiled so innocently that made Marian cry even more. That boywas everything she got.  
«it's not that necessary. Really.»  
Robin looked down. He was miserable, he felt horrible and he couldn't hide it.  
«papa?»  
«yes?»  
«can we go and have breakfast at Granny's? maybe a hot cocoa will make mama feel better!»

Marian didn't say a word to his husband for the rest of the morning. She only put on a good face for her baby Roland and tried so hard to hold back the tears every time she looked at Robin. She still wanted to know who was the woman he fell for, she tried to find the courage to ask him again but she just couldn't. She wasn't strong enough.  
The sound of the bell up the door as it opened brought Robin's eyes away to the woman who just came in. He tried so hard to not smile at her but it was impossible as he saw her blushing like a shy baby when she saw him staring. Regina was so beautiful in that red dress. He had to admit that red was definitely her colour; it was perfect on her white skin, with her dark hair. _God, she was a vision._ Robin bit his bottom lip and Regina looked down, remembering what he promised her the night before.  
_Oh, god._

«can I have a coffee please? With milk. Thank you.» she said politely to Granny. The woman nodded and Regina's eyes fell into Robin's again. My gosh, they hadn't leave her nor her body for just a second.  
Unfortunately, she wasn't the only one who noticed it: Marian decided to follow his look, knowing that maybe, just maybe, it would have brought her to the answer that she wanted:  
«_The Evil Queen_?! It's her!» she exclaimed getting up from her seat. Robin looked at her like he had just woken up from a dream.  
«what…?»  
«yes, that's why you kept on disappearing everytime you could to… "Take care of her". Yeah, I can imagine how _you took care of her._» she snapped with sarcasm. Now everyone in the diner, including Regina, was looking at the couple with horrified eyes. Little Roland had absolutely no idea what was going on between his parents, all he knew was that it wasn't going to be good. So he ran, he ran to the only person, beside his father, that he truly trusted: Regina.  
«Gina, why is mama mad?»  
She looked down at him, eyes still shocked, mouth opened widely. She had absolutely no idea what to say:  
«I… I have no idea.» so she decided to lie.  
«you were sleeping with her, weren't you? Everytime you were away you were with her! With _the woman who was about to kill me_!» she shouted.  
Robin's heart dropped a beat at her last few words.  
«what are you talking about, Marian?»  
Everyone's eyes fell on Regina this time, who had absolutely no clue what was going on.  
«she was about to execute me! Thirty years ago, back in the past, whatever you'd like to call it. All I know is that I was going to be killed if Emma and the pirate wouldn't have saved me.»  
Robin looked at Regina in shock and, when he noticed she had no clue what Marian was saying, he returned his eyes to his wife:  
«please. I know you're hurt but you don't have the right to tell her such things. She's not evil anymore and…»  
«you think I'm lying?!» she shouted again «my god, breaking my heart wasn't enough, apparently!» tears finally exploded and fell down to her cheeks. The bell over the door rang again and Emma and Hook came in. Marian's eyes seemed to shine again:  
«Emma! Emma please tell him. Tell him what you saw when you saved me. It was Regina who was about to kill me, right?»  
The blond girl found herself trapped and there was no escape. She looked at Marian, then at Hook and then her eyes buried in Regina's. She couldn't just ruin her life even more than she already did, but at the same time she couldn't let a woman be the liar of the situation in front of her husband and her son when she clearly wasn't. _No, she couldn't do that, she was one of the good guys._  
«yes.» she whispered.  
Robin felt the ground crumbling down his feet. The woman he loved, the love of his life had killed his wife thirty years before. _She had killed her_. _She_ did it, not_him_. It was _her_ fault, not _his_. He couldn't believe it, he just couldn't believe he had just lost… Everything. In that second, in a woman's simple _"yes"_.  
«Regina…» he walked to her, slowly. Every step he took closer, Regina's heart lost a beat. «is that true?»  
«I don't know.» she said honestly, looking right into his blue diamonds but immediately looked down as she noticed she wasn't able to stand his eyes: «I killed so many people… I don't remember killing her.» she didn't know what to say. Everything seemed to be wrong. Everything was wrong. «I swear, Robin, I didn't know! If I did I wouldn't even get close to you, nor your son!» she hurried to say «Robin… Please» she tried to touch him, to take his hand but he pulled away.  
«don't touch me.» he whispered. It was a strange whisper, not even close to the ones he usually gave her, it was cold as ice. «_don't get close to me again. Not even to my son_.» he took Roland's hand and pulled him close.  
«Robin…»  
«_stay away from my family._» he said firmly walking out of the restaurant.  
Regina didn't know what to say, she just didn't feel anything, it was like every emotion was frozen.  
«Gina!» she heard Roland's voice before the door could close behind his back.  
Probably the last time she heard that voice.


	6. Chapter 6

**thank you all for the reviews and the support! thank you so very much! hope you like this part too :)**

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She had waved her hands and disappeared in front of everyone, as she used to do everytime she didn't want to show her emotions to everyone. She wanted to cry, to cry her heart dark heart out, but when she reappeared in her big, empty house, neither a tear could fall from her eyes. Her heart had been broken in a thousand pieces again and all she felt was… Tiredness. She was tired of suffering for that man who couldn't do anything but pull her in and push her out only a minute later. She couldn't handle it anymore.  
This time was different, she knew it far too well. She had killed his wife, she had truly killed his wife and he had blamed his own self for thirty years. But the worst thing was that she had left a little innocent boy without a mother. She had done such things not just to the ones that soon became the most important people in her life, she also did it to people she didn't even know. She was such a horrible person, she felt useless, hopeless, like she didn't deserve every breathe she was taking. For one second, when her hand fell on her chest, when her heart was beating, she thought to end it all there, to grab her own heart in her hands and crush it until the life could escape from her body and she would have finally been free.  
But she couldn't. She knew she couldn't, the responsible part of her, her conscience kept on repeating a name in her head: _Henry._ Her son needed her, even if she didn't deserve him, even if she wasn't enough for him… _He needed his mother._  
But she had to do something, she couldn't just go back and get drunk like a stupid heartbroken teenager. She had to do something far worse, something that would have… _Truly_ made her forget him.  
G_old's shop_. That crazy idea jumped in her mind and nobody could stop her from achieving it. Well, except for…  
_Take a breathe, Regina, in an hour you won't even remember his name._

«I need something.» she immediately exclaimed as the door closed behind her back. Rumple arched his eyebrow and a wicked smile crossed his face:  
«your majesty. Something's wrong?» he knew exactly what was going on, he was there when Marian started to shout at Granny's and he was also there when Robin told Regina to stay away from his family. At that thought her heart shuttered again and that was exactly what Rumple wanted. Well, she deserved it, to be honest, for all the pain she had caused to him, but most of all to Belle.  
«I need to forget.» she looked down.  
Rumple grinned:  
«I think you know exactly what kind of potion you need, and how to prepare it.» once he spoke, he turned his back to her and tried to walk away, in his office, where Belle was waiting for him.  
«I don't have the ingredients, nor the will of going in my crypt.» she was talking so low he could barely hear, she just didn't feel strong enough.  
Rumple took a deep breathe before nodding and taking something from a shelf:  
«this isn't the right solution, Regina.» he handed her the little bottle and she quickly took it in her hand.  
«it's none of your business. What's your price?»  
«Regina, I'm serious. Don't do it.» Rumple took her arm, forcing her to look at him deeply in the eyes.  
«why do you care?» Regina knew far too well that she wasn't going to hold back tears any longer so she hurried to pull away from his grip as quickly as possible. Rumple seemed to understand and nodded; he remembered perfectly when Snow came to him and asked the same exact thing; because her heart was hurting too much, because it was tired of being broken. And what did that potion bring? Her and her prince Charming found each other. Again. _Because true love will always find a way. _  
Maybe it was a real resolution the one that he just gave her. If so what he had just done could be considered as a good action.  
«it's on the house.» he whispered.  
«thank you.» she didn't say anything else and walked away.

She couldn't believe what she was about to do. If someone, two years before, would have told her she was about to take a forgetting potion, she would have laughed at them. Damn, she hated how much she'd changed, how much she'd become weak. Her mother was right, letting love in would have meant being weaker, and not just to face a random villain, but to face _herself_. What she felt inside, how to deal with every damn emotion.  
She wanted to be the woman who wasn't afraid of crushing a heart to get what she wanted. She wanted to be the woman who wasn't going to cry for anybody but her son. Just a sip of that potion and she would have been that woman again. Of course, not evil; she wasn't going to screw up a work of redemption that took her three long years of her life for _a random man_, she was just going to fix her broken heart. She was going to forget him, if it was the last thing she did.  
She took the little bottle in her hands, uncorked it and slowly leaded it to her lips.  
_Goodbye, Robin. _  
«Regina! Open this door, now!»  
Tinker Bell. What the hell was she doing there now? That woman had absolutely no idea what _right time_ meant.  
«fly away, moth!» she snapped, eager to drink that potion. She wondered for a second why she hadn't done it yet.  
«Regina, either you open this door or I'll come in flying through the window. You have no choice.» she knocked harder. Regina rolled her eyes, left go a long, deep breathe and mentally cursed that damn fairy that couldn't mind her business for more than a minute. She waved her hand and the door opened; Tink immediately ran to her and literally ripped the potion away from her.  
«I wasn't expecting something like that from you, Regina.» she practically shouted.  
«how…»  
«Belle told me everything. Why would you do something like that?» her voice lowered and so did Regina's eyes.  
«I couldn't handle it. I can't handle it. I feel so empty. So alone… You don't have any idea what is like being me. Fighting with my ghosts every singleday.» while words came out from her beautiful lips, tears did the same from her eyes. «I killed so many people… I didn't even remember that woman, that Marian. I took her away from her husband, from her son! She was innocent.»  
Tinker Bell didn't know what to say. It was clear from how dark her heart was that she had been the portrait of evil, back in the past. But the woman she had right in front of her was just… Hurt. She wanted so bad to redeem herself and she knew it wasn't going to be easy. But she tried, she tried hard, helping everyone without asking anything in return, until she finally made it: she was a hero now. Her magic was light and her heart was becoming more and more pure. She had achieved a lot.  
«Regina, look at you. If you would have been the same person you wouldn't been crying like that. You've changed. You've changed a lot. Robin will see that, he will understand what he truly feels for you. Just… Give him time. The curse of true love doesn't always run smooth, it looks like you two are the proof of that. You will find each other again.» she smiled at her friend -cause Regina was a friend to her and she was Regina's only one- and tried to wipe away her tears. Even if Regina tried hard to push her back, the fairy wasn't going to give up so easily. She knew it was just a mask, she knew how beautifully fragile the queen was.  
«what if he doesn't want to find me? What if pixie dust brought me to him cause he hadn't met Marian yet?»  
«Regina» she took her by the shoulders and shook her lightly «you have to trust me. It's fate! Fate brought you together and fate will fix this mess. I promise.» she tried to pull her in a hug but when Regina looked down, Tink understood that it was too much human contact for just a day.  
«I gotta go. Can you give me that potion, Regina?» she looked straight at her before even opening the door and walking away.  
«I… I will keep it with me, I promise I won't drink it.» she looked down immediately, unable to stand the fairy's honest eyes.  
«Regina.» Tinker Bell repeated firmly.  
The queen rolled her eyes but finally handed the potion to her friend who smiled widely again:  
«thank you.»


End file.
